Experimentalist Podcast Writing Submissions: Entry 006 / by Brandon Mitchell

"How much are you going to make me read? A lot? Or a little? If it's a lot am going to have to write more because I wrote a couple of little things and a lot of them are not that good."

OH, WHY NOT? What do I always mean? Honesty is not always the best policy. That might not be the smartest argument to make. Especially when you always lose.You know when I knew the fact that I always lose? When I “won” an argument by busting the “You’re not fair!” Defense. “You’re not fair. You believe that you’re right, therefore you will never really listen to what I have to say...because you’re always going to find a way to prove your point. So, even if I am right, you’ll never believe me. So, you’re being unfair.” If the purpose of the debate were to end the argument, I won because it ended right there. I was up against Karsh McCabe. It was tough but, supposing that killing our conversation was the goal...I won that debate.
    Ever since then I’ve known that I am not “meant” to win. I am not “meant” to lose. I lose. I do not win. But, the only way to really lose, is to try to win. So, I’m gonna try.


I’M GONNA TRY

I’m gonna try hard
I’m hardly trying to lose
I’ve got this bottle
Got all this snooze
Sleep’s only an enemy
When the enemy’s fast asleep
We’re curled up in bed now
We’re counting sheep
Herds only in memory
I heard my mind clear
Teardrops held back, blurring
Hydroplane and steer
Out of the way
Out of my path
But I do have it
I have a path
Sometimes I ride off it
Don’t know where I am But do I?
Do I ride off?
That’s just my path
I’m creating the curves
Still just going one direction
At any given time
One single direction
Forward’s one
So is backwards

If you want to think
That it’s
“‘Always’ going forward”
You’re wrong
Losers go backwards more than
They go forward
But if losing’s the goal. . .

GOING BACKWARD IS GOING FORWARD. Discuss.

                    TID

            No way. Never.

                    PIDGE

            Yep.

                    TID

            You think going backward is. . . How do you
            say it?

                    PIDGE

             It’s going forward.

Tid gives Pidge a look suggesting he doesn’t believe what he’s just heard.

                    PIDGE
        
            It is. What if you want to lose? The goal you
            head for is the loss. As you get closer to losing,
            you are moving forward toward that goal.

                    TID

            No, but that’s losing. That is widely considered
            going in the wrong direction.

                    PIDGE

            How wide are we talking?

                    TID

            Everyone - - what? How wide?

                    PIDGE

            How wide? If it’s between me and you. And you
            think one thing and I think another. If someone was
            talking about your thing, would they say that people, in general,
            believe your thing by a wide margin? Or would it have
            to be, “over 920,000 people out of 1.1 million” believe
            this thing? What do you consider a wide margin?

                    TID

            Is that how you win these things?

                    PIDGE

            I don’t want to “win”.

                    TID

            Then why are you arguing for it?

Pidge thinks for a moment.

                    

                    PIDGE

            Hmmm.

                    (open rant)

TID comes in.
    

                    TID

            Pidge. Pidge. I made a mistake.

Pidge Pricks Up Her Ears, Gary.

                    TID

            I got your attention by saying I was wrong.

                    PIDGE

            No, you always have my attention. I just want
            to have yours.

Later that night in his empty apartment. Just him getting in bed. Not tired enough to fall asleep, but wishing he were. Still thinking of that conversation earlier. Tid didn’t know why he was in that conversation. And he’d been there, in that open ended, repetitive, same rhythm, same rhyme scheme, same ‘what does anyone get from this?’ conversation many times before. At that moment in time, he was done. He was ready to give it all up. That same fucking situation happens all the time and it goes nowhere. And each instance takes less and less time to get there. He had to quit that, but tomorrow, he’d wake up and he’d eventually get back there again.
    Next time, could he make it last longer. Could he pull a stop/start. Could he fake a loss like an “Over the Top” arm wrestling situation. Fall way back then push through with a quick, power slam winning all the dough and making friends with the opposition in the long run.
    Tid was a good man. He was friends with Pidge. That meant he could actually be friends with anybody.